Saturday, May 8, 2010

So wet and so sad.

A few weeks ago I decided to do the dishes. I sorted out the dishes in the sink and ran the hot tap. When it was hot I put in the plug, detergent, and then I went on the internet while the sink filled.

A few minutes later I remembered and I came back and the sink was flooded and water was pouring off the sink, down the wooden cupboards and on to the lino floor. I flooded the cutlery draw about 1cm in each compartment and had to throw out paper towels from the cupboards underneath and dry everything in the cupboards, the cupboard interiors, and all the cutlery that got wet and eave the draw in the sun to finish drying. The wood swelled and the cutlery draw became really hard to open and close for about a week, because I put the taps on and walked away and forgot about it.

Episode two

A friend of mine decided that he was going to do some cooking. He went to the kitchen, stopped and thought ‘I don’t know how to cook anything!’.
He then saw a gorgeous cookbook on the kitchen table titled How to be a Domestic Goddess: Cup-cake edition.

He opened a page to Fairy Cupcakes. The cupcakes were pink with love hearts drawn on them. He thought they looked delightful.

But then, he felt a wave of disgrace. (my friend, you see, is what I call the ‘homophobos’)

He suddenly smiled and felt satisfied that he had solved his problem, he decided to call them Macho Dudecakes, to make the more masculine. He then had the brilliant idea to draw dongs on them instead of love hearts. He thought, the modification wouldn’t be that hard seeing that they were similar shapes.
He then walked out the kitchen.
And didn't make them.



Sad…

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Episode One

In this first sad story I am approached by two nice police man who had me confused with someone else.
*police car approaches*

Pol -« Hi, are you waiting for someone to pick you up?».

Me - «Yes, my friend is picking me up...I work up stairs ».

Pol - « Oh so that is your work pass for the building, oh well never mind ».

Me « What is it...»

Pol - « You don’t want to know, you’ll be offended »..

Me « Tell me!»

Pol-« Ok, well there is some prostitutes hanging around this area »

Me - *sulks*

P-« We told you that you would be offended.».

They also suggested it was a compliment.

Sad...

(On the brightside for them, I saw them arresting a lady later on that evening.)

Beginnings.

I get told a lot that I have a lot of sad stories, and that because I have so many, I should share them with everyone because one heart can't bear the amount of sadness that comes form having just so many sad stories. So here is our blog where we will tell you these stories, some of them aren't even OUR sad stories but they are pretty sad none the less.

Our first Sad Story (note to us: we need a logo for our saddest stories blog, like a stamp so we can stamp all the saddest things with it, so you know they are sad) comes from an interaction between two of my friends who used to live so close to each other, and now one is back in his European homeland. This sad story occurred only days after he left, and in a way it is a major inspiration for this blog.


We miss you Marijn.